cramps corner!

Yay! More cramps corner! Normally, I use this space to bitch about things that are annoying me while I'm on my period. This time around I want to be positive and talk about some things that are exciting me. Lately, I've been a little bit worn down, with work and life and the nuances of growing up (which suck, btw, and I will blog about tomorrow). I need a little joy in my life. So here you go!

Top 7 things Cleo is excited about:

1. Commencement: I miss college. I miss college so much that sometimes it feels like there's a gaping hole in my life now that I've graduated. Luckily for me, I get to relive it for one weekend every year. Commencement, for me, is a time to be an irresponsible kid again - running around Providence, wreaking havoc and drinking copious amounts of alcohol. This year, there will be an abundance of '06ers and '07ers (my year) and I plan to catch up with old friends and get very, very sloshed doing the things I used to do when I was young and irresponsible. Looking forward to drinks at Kartabar, Indian food at Kabob N Curry, the Creperie, drinking and dancing with douchy frat-types at Spats, and of course, Campus Dance. 
2. New York City/LI vacay: For two glorious weeks spanning June and July, I will be back in my motherland - New York City/Long Island. There are few things in this life that I hold unwavering loyalty to (outside of family and friends, of course), but the place I grew up in will always hold a special place in my heart. I miss my Long Island summer existence, which consisted mostly of driving around for hours with the windows down, blasting music with my friends and singing like a crazy person. Beach trips with the MCM, delis and diners, Ralph's Italian Ices, hanging out at Starbucks, and spending late nights at the movies. Then there's NYC in the summer, which is truly magical - rooftop bars, margaritas with the work girls, laying out at Battery Park, boozy outdoor brunches. It doesn't get any more perfect than that. 
3. My first big event: I've been working on this 3500+ person sales conference since the day I started on my new team. In just 4 weeks, it all comes to fruition. I'm excited, nervous, and hopeful that everything goes well. I can't wait to see the outcome of all the hard work I've been putting in. It's going to be amazing! I love my job =)
4. Pinstripe Nation comes to Oakland: YANKEES DOMINATION! Despite our erratic playing this year, I am a die-hard Yankees fan and will support them no matter what. That's why, when they come to Oakland, I'm going to be in my Granderson jersey and hat, cheering my ass off in enemy territory and mean mugging anyone that has a problem with it. 
5. Jazzgirl moving to SF: OMGYAY! Girl Roomie from NYC is moving to SF at the end of the summer and I'm ecstatic! Part of the reason I live alone is because I could never find a roommate as awesome and amazing as she was, and I'm so happy that I'll get to see her on a regular basis. She is awesome. Plus, her college friends are also awesome and I firmly plan on wedging myself into their little circle =)
6. Reboot of my sorority girl life: I really miss sorority life - all of it, even the drama. All I really want is to see two girls fight over how to make fondue (I'm not exaggerating this at all. In my sorority, every single year we threw a fondue rush party and every single year, it turned into a screaming match about the proper way to use the pot. There was cursing. People cried. It was ugly). All joking aside, though, I miss the camaraderie of my sisters and organizing events. Some of my best nights ever were spent in the company of my intelligent, interesting, gorgeous sisters. The point of all this is that the alumni chapter of my sorority is restarting their Bay Area chapter and they have a bunch of events coming up! Cannot wait to get involved.
7. Blog Summit in Chi Town: I've decided that I'm going to the 20SB Summit in Chicago this summer. I've never been to Chicago and I'm dying to check it out AND learn how to be a better blogger for all of you folks that read this.

Well, that was a useful exercise - I feel happier already!

arg, why now?!

Okay, so I haven't seen my boyfriend in two and a half weeks because I was home in NY and then when I got back, he was working nights. Tonight is supposed to be our big 'bomb chicka wow wow' evening of doing nothing but having sex but NO. My motherfucking period has to show up, even though my Android app told me she wasn't coming until tomorrow. Fuck womanhood. Okay, I don't mean that, but I'm frustrated. Sex delayed for another week. Awesome. I know I could just have sex while I have my period, but I don't like it - so there! Wah! FML!

In other news, I am obsessed with my My Days app on my Droid Incredible. I can add when my period starts and ends as well as when I have sex. It tells me when my next period is going to happen (it's usually right, this month was a fluke) as well as when I'm high fertility. It's AMAZING. Technology improves everything!

Anyway, I'm grumpy and crampy, so don't mind me. I do have lots of fun weekend plans, though! Tonight is boyfriend time. Tomorrow is my Mad Men/Nopalito date with MB, followed by a drag show with my work friends (cannot wait!). Sunday is more boyfriend time and we're going to decorate my apartment for Christmas and then go see a Christmas show! So maybe the weekend won't suck so much, but my body has horrible timing this month. Although, as usual - thank you God for not making me pregnant! W00t!

cramps corner!

Don't think I forgot!!!! It's time for more Cramps Corner - in which I get to bitch and complain as my ovaries twist themselves up in pain and make me want to cry for Jesus. I feel like absolute shit today and can barely see straight. I also probably should not have consumed bacon fried rice AND Indian food for lunch, but whatever whatever, I do what I want!

Things on my mind today:

1. I am a fucking emotional wreck. A WRECK! Yesterday, I watched Glee and cried like a baby. I mean, most people I know cried during the episode, but I broke down and bawled. You would've thought they were killing my child or something when I watched this show. I like to think it was a hormonal thing, but I don't know. After the show I looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes were puffy and red and I looked like a hot ass mess. Over a TV show. God, being a woman sucks. Seriously - men need to go through something this shitty each month so we can be even.
2. You know what else sucks. Exes. Exes suck. TG is back from his trip and I hate it because now he's all here and I have to see his tweets and wonder what he's doing. I hate that I can't seem to just get over this, even though I'm dating a guy I really like. I think I just need to get laid. Penis cures everything. I wish I could get a doctor to write me a prescription for it because I'm always happy after sex, even lackluster sex. I want a manservant who has to pleasure me whenever I desire it. Wahhh. Okay, I'm done being whiny.
3. I really want to text The Blexican, but don't know what to say. I want to say something suggestive or sexy or racy, but in general I just kind of want to talk to him. Which upsets me because I hate wanting to talk to people. It exposes my weakness and vulnerability. Hate it.
4. As much as I hate my period, I'm so happy it came today! I get so worried when I have questionable sex (meaning sex with someone I barely know or who has some kind of sketchball quality about them). I'm always like - what if something happens and I'm pregnant with this crazy baby. All month I kept picturing mini versions of The Russian. I don't think I'd be allowed to kick a baby in the face - that would be bad right. But, anyways, crisis averted! I am not preggers! Time to return to my regular programming =)

Okay, I'm done bitching and whining. Back to work!

cramps corner.

I seriously want to start a little section on this blog for all of the evil/ridiculous thoughts that pop up into my head when I have my period. I think it could be enjoyable. Unlike the experience I'm going through now, which is a fucking nightmare. Seriously, whenever I get these cramps, I'm always tempted to drop to my knees, throw my hands to the sky and scream out "GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?!?!?!?!" and then I realize that I'm a melodramatic drama queen and instead I just curl up in the fetal position while slamming medicine down my throat. Because that works, too.

So, some random thoughts of the day.

1. Couples walk really fucking slowly. Seriously, have you ever walked behind a couple? It makes me want to stab myself in the eye. Sometimes, they walk so slowly I'm convinced they're going backwards. Maybe being in love suspends all sense of time and urgency, but I'd rather walk behind a bunch of chattering schoolchildren on crutches than behind two people in love. rawr.
2. This morning I had a serious freakout moment imagining what I would do if I found out my birth mother was white. I'm now obsessed with this theory. So, it began as all great moments do, while watching Real Housewives of DC. So the black one - Stacie - tells her sorority sisters that she's adopted and has tracked down her birth mother and she's white. OMFG. First of all, Stacie does not look like your typical black-white mix. She looks BLACK. Blackedy-black-black-black. So now I'm terrified that my birth mother is white and that everything I've believed about myself is wrong. There are so many reasons why this is completely random/weird, but it further shows me that race in America is one of the most fucked up things on earth. I should unpack all this now and get into a discussion of race in America, but I'm in too much pain to have a serious discussion about what learning that your birth mother is a different race can do to you. Instead, I'll move on to #3.
3. I got an email today AT WORK that had the following sentence - "I would prefer a fork in my eye, but thanks for the invite." It was from an engineer that we invited to the event we're planning for the fall. First of all - what the fuck is wrong with engineers? Who writes shit like that? Didn't anyone teach this man some basic manners? Second of all - I hate HR because I can't write a simple ass response back to him. Fuck.

I think that's all I've got for today. Check back tomorrow, when I'm closer to being a functional human being.

i had this really awesome entry planned...

... and now I feel like someone is ripping out my insides with a fucking rake. I HATE MY PERIOD.

RAGE FACE!!!!!!!

Okay, calming down. I think my officemate thinks I'm on crack because I just keep whimpering and moaning and yelling out things like "Why does God hate women?!?!?!" Sometimes I can't believe I work in HR. Seriously, I have no control over my mouth. It just runs and runs. It's a miracle I haven't been fired.

Will have a more substantial update when my innards decide to start behaving. In short form news, TG is all up in the my grill. Seriously. Homeboy IMs me EVERY DAY and is all "when are you coming to SF?" "Let's play!" "Let's trade music and chat all day!" I don't understand it. I'm 99% sure he's dating this chick he was into, so will someone tell him to get away? I guess I should do that, but I never do. Why? Because I'm weak.

Back to my pain. ='(