broke.

So technically I'm not broke, but I have to save up for the move so I feel like none of my money is my own. I had a goal to raise X amount of dollars and I would be SO CLOSE to that if I hadn't had to lend my mother half of the money. So now I'm halfway to my goal and terrified that it's not enough for me to (a) put down a deposit on an apartment (b) finance my house-hunting trip (c) pay to furnish my apartment and (d) pay to fly out to CA. I'm not even sure how to raise more money. I mean, I have my job, but I still have super expensive rent in NYC, a credit card bill, miscellaneous bills, and more family members asking me to donate to things and it's causing me some serious stress.

I hate being stressed out about money, especially when it's not like I'm a freelance writer or unemployed or any of that. I work for one of the best companies in the world, I make a decent living, and even I feel crushed. The one time I manage to turn my finances around and my *parents* are the ones who fuck it up for me. It just doesn't feel fair. I don't even know what to do - because I feel this sense of obligation to my parents for raising me and paying for part of my schooling and giving me a home, but I also know that I can't afford to support them and myself. I also think they need to have their own sense of financial responsibility and I can't just save them every time they need help. Quite frankly, they were lucky that I had the fucking money they asked for because normally I have next to no savings. I'm going to be selling my body on the streets over the next month to finance this move and I know my stupid mother will complain if I don't furnish my apartment to the nines, but quite frankly I'm not willing to go into debt over that. I'd rather take my time and get things in order with my money before loading up my credit card with more debt than I can handle.

I'm practically hyperventilating as I type this, so if anyone has any ideas on how I can make some quick cash, they would be much appreciated. I was considering looking into a second job, but I don't think I even have time for that with all the traveling I'm going to be doing. I guess I can start selling stuff... Arg. Just want to be stable for once.